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Why teachers go crazy
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
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MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one-hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
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MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one-hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
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