There are different stories for different groups of words.
The standardization of English spelling was a long, slow process, extending over centuries and full of hiccups and reversals.
For the words like “center,” both the “center” and “centre” spellings were widely used in the Middle Ages. By the 16th century, however, the spelling “center” had largely won out in Britain. This is the spelling preferred by Shakespeare, Milton, and other writers of the 16th and 17th centuries, and it is the spelling preferred in most dictionaries of the period. Naturally, therefore, “center” was the spelling carried to the American colonies in the 17th century.
In the US, therefore, nothing much has happened. The prevalent spelling “center” was endorsed by Noah Webster’s famous and influential American dictionary in 1828, and it has never since been threatened.
In Britain, however, the French-style spelling “centre” made a comeback in the 18th century. This was preferred by several lexicographers, including the enormously influential Dr. Johnson in his 1755 dictionary, and, as a result, “centre” displaced “center” as the British spelling.
Something similar happens with the “-ize” / “-ise” words, like “civilize” / “civilise.” In this case, though, the etymological spelling is that with “-ize” (which derives from the Greek suffix <-izein>), and the “-ize” spelling was universal in English until around the 18th century. But then British writers noticed that the French had changed the spelling of their cognate suffix from <-izer> to <-iser>. The British began aping the French, and writing “-ise” instead of “-ize.” This new spelling was endorsed by Dr. Johnson, and it has since become very widespread in Britain. But not universal: some conservative quarters in Britain still insist on “-ize.” An example is the august Oxford University Press, which still prefers “-ize.” If you look up the suffix in the second edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, you will find a firm little lecture on the foolishness of writing “-ise.”
In the US, none of this ever happened, and Americans continue to use the traditional “-ize.”
But the “color” words are different. Though the spelling had earlier fluctuated, “colour” was pretty much established as the usual spelling in Britain by the 14th century, though “color” continued to be used occasionally, under the influence of the Latin <color>, the ultimate (but not direct) source of the word.
But in 1828 Noah Webster opted for “color.” He did this, apparently, partly because he preferred simpler spellings, and partly because he was eager to distinguish American English from British English. In fact, his dictionary contains a number of novel spellings for these reasons, but many of his proposals never caught on. However, Americans took a liking to his “color,” and have made it their invariable spelling.
So, the chief reasons for the differences are the varying preferences of influential lexicographers, plus a substantial French influence on British English but not on American English.
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